Hidden Wonder

In 1998, I traveled to Iligan City with some of my colleagues at the Office of the Peace Process for a local conference. On our last day of the trip we were invited to visit the local scenery.  The introvert and lazy bones that I am, it took some time for me to warm up to the idea of roaming the market place and from what I heard, take a dip into one of Iligan's waterfalls.

Am I glad I did not stay in the hotel! The trip to TINAGO FALLS was exhilarating!

Tinago Falls is a waterfall in Iligan City, Lanao del Norte in the southern Philippine island of Mindanao. The falls is located in a deep ravine in Barangay Ditucalan, Iligan City. The falls plunges 240 feet (73 m) high from a cliff.  It is one of the main tourist attractions in Iligan, a city known as the City of Majestic Waterfalls. Trekking to the falls requires approximately 500 descending steps called the winding staircase, hence the name. Literally, the falls being hidden in a deep ravine. The falls is high, its very cold waters cascading beautifully into a deep and calm basin-like pool which appears like a blue-colored lagoon. Under the falls is a small cave where people can enter and listen to the rumbling waters.

The water was so inviting that I gave in to the temptation. Not a very good swimmer, I was content floating around the basin, using a rented "interior". The more brazen among us went as far as climbing up the caves and swam under the falls. And, as if on cue, a rainbow appeared. It was quite a sight, captured only in my mind.

By mid afternoon, some of the guys feasted on "iniihaw na pusit" as pulutuan for their ice-cold beer and... gin!  I was happy with my Coke. A couple of hours later, some of them were already tipsy and red from the alcohol! I was wondering how could we go back to the hotel if our driver was drunk?! Ah, but I had my Coke and the majestic view of the falls, I need not not fret, I told myself.

And so it was time to go. I noticed how some of my companions were too hesitant to leave. Was it the falls? Was it beckoning them like a temptress begging them not to go, not just yet?  Nah! It didn't take long for me to realize they were all just too hesitant to take 500 steps up back to the peak!

I cannot remember how long it took me to climb up the winding staircase, but I'm sure I made it to the top not after several stops and heaps of panting and heavy breathing that put all porn-stars to shame! Nevertheless, I was happy to be back on level ground, in one piece! My legs were wobbly and weak, but I felt a good rush!

I noticed nobody was behind me so I walked to the van and waited for my companions. Five burly men, to be exact. I was beginning to wonder, did they take a detour? Was there an easier track and that I was foolish enough to climb the steep ravine? How stupid of me, I thought.

Some thirty minutes have passed after I saw some bobbing heads emerging from the cliff. One by one, my companions emerged from the ravine. Silent, sweaty and...sober!  A few moments passed before anyone of them could speak, trying hard to hide the panting and loss of breath. And then just suddenly, we all broke into loud laughter realizing that indeed, "nawala ang pagkalasing nilang lahat!"

When Less is More

It's been a while since my last self-help post. For those who asked for more, here's an interesting piece from my favorite author, Susan Berkeley:

Here's a fascinating paradox.

The most boring people are often those who go on and on about themselves; while the most interesting and charismatic talkers are often those who say little or nothing at all!

These folks have grasped a fundamental truth: the average person spends almost all this time thinking and fantasizing about his most important concern: himself. Therefore, the more sincerely interested you are in others, the more they will be interested in you.

Luckily, there are five simple, yet powerful ways to improve rapport with others.

1.    LISTEN TWICE AS MUCH AS YOU SPEAK. Train yourself to speak no more than three sentences in a row without pausing to let others respond.

    

2.    TAKE FIVE. After the other person stops speaking count to five before you say a word. This has three benefits. First: you give your brain a few moments to absorb what was said and formulate an intelligent reply. Second, you show the other person that what was said was worthy of consideration. Third, you avoid interrupting the other person who may have paused only to gather his thoughts.  

3.    USE CLARIFIERS. Always ask at least one clarifying question before responding with your point of view. Some good clarifiers are: "How so?" or "Can you elaborate?". This gives the other person the opportunity to say exactly what they mean. They will appreciate the courtesy.  

4.    PARAPHRASE. When the other person has finished speaking, tell them what you think you heard. They will be flattered that you gave them your undivided attention.    

 

5.    DON'T JUDGE or give advice unless specifically asked. Show your empathy by murmuring phrases such as: "I understand" or "If I were you I would feel exactly the same way."

Remembering...

Today is Mai's birthday. 

He would have been 55 years old today. 

And in my mind he will forever be 25. 

That was when I first met him. 

Happy birthday, Mai. 

You are sorely missed. 

But i have a lifetime's worth of great memories. 

Thank you.

Mario G. Baranda
March 17, 1956 - August 1, 2004

Glee Burt Hummel's Speech to Finn about gays